Happy 4th of July

Well here it is July 3rd.  There is a hurricane off the coast, the rain is coming down, and yep I'm still sitting in a hospital bed.  Oh did I mention that they didn't think I'd even still be above ground right now, see I told ya so!  I got YEARS to go....lots and lots of them.

Doesn't get any better than this does it.  Life is good!  NO really, Life is GOOD.

I have been avoiding any updates, seems that as always, haters will get there voice heard in one way or another, and they have.  Things like "put on your big girl panties and get over it" is just another affirmation that the decisions I have made in the last 3 years have been the RIGHT decisions. So THANK YOU, thank you to those who are angry that I walked away, thank you to the family that blames me for the actions of others. Thank you to the ones who felt I didn't do enough, didn't give enough. Thank you to the ones who I was able to give all I had to.  Not only family but many that I came in contact with in my day to day life, I truly thought my heart was in the right place, I truly thought I was doing right, I would give it ALL, I just didn't know I would run out of "it ALL".  Thank you to those haters who have enabled me to see clearly, THANK YOU.
I am not perfect, I have made mistakes, I could have done things different and some would say I damn sure should have.   At this point I can hear it, some are probably thinking....what the heck this is just a "death bed" sermon, nope ...this girl ain't going anywhere.  Just stating some facts, and apologizing to those who have been looking for updates because they do care.  So here is what's going on.

I've had two Yervoy treatments to date.  The first was pretty easy, some intestinal issues, but we were able to move on after an extended time frame to the second dose.  2nd dose not so good.  I immediately took on several side effects, and today I am 2 weeks out from that 2nd dose and in the hospital since Monday.  I'm on IV fluids, IV steroids, IV potassium, and the team of Oncologists and GI Dr's are working to try to pinpoint what is going on.  While they are confident it is the Yervoy, we still have to get the situation under control to avoid other issues.  My body has always been the type that if it is odd, off the wall, or just unbelievable, it will manage it. There is some definite concerns as to next steps, every decision can bring on a new risk, so nothing is moving very fast. My Dr is fantastic, he is actually out of the country now, but had met me here at ER on Monday before leaving and has been in constant touch since I've been here, you just don't find that much anymore.

Monday was a little frightening for us all, it's about a 3 hour drive from home to the hospital, I wasn't coherent for any of it. Yesterday I found time for a meltdown, thank you Jan for being here every single second of this whole ordeal....just crazy.  I'm feeling better today than I have all week, and really want to be home, but I don't think that is going to happen today, and I'm really worried that they are going to keep me all weekend since the holiday is tomorrow, putting it in Gods hands.

So, this turned out to be a bit of a rant, a bit of an apology to my dearest friends and family, and a very quick update.....thank you for caring.

HUGGS and SMILES to all

Up the Steroids

April 28th first Yervoy treatment, now everything is on hold, 2 weeks of Steroids, and now they have doubled the Steroids to get this intestinal issue straightened around. Through each and every step, I've stayed positive, stayed strong, but right now in this very moment.....I just don't know what to think...80mg Steroids daily, unknown when / if the next dose of Yervoy, even though the lump on my neck is almost gone......it's working, DAMN, come on body cooperate.

Porcelain is NOT my friend

Five months into this FIVE months....since the first indication that this journey was ahead.

Now here I am watching positive results from the first Treatment of Yervoy, only to be held back from the next treatment because of intestinal issues, the Porcelain "god" is not my friend.  I'm pumping in the steroids, against my better judgment and accepting the fact that not taking them could result in a new issue, Colitis, oh hell no, not gonna happen.

All days Life is Good, but some I'm finding are more exhausting than others, things I was doing with little effort are leaving me flat out....went out yesterday for about 4 hours, didn't do much of anything and still came home and just flopped....thank you to my dearest Jan for being so tolerant, supporting, and loving...she is so strong and determined that we will beat this, where would I be without her. 

Trying to reach out to some Trike dealers, wish I knew how to hit the buzz words to get the support I so need to make the Huggs and Smiles trip, God knows best.  Thank you to all of you who have stepped up and made a contribution to this trip, with so much going on these days it would be so easy to turn a blind eye, instead you took the time, I am forever grateful.


Huggs & Smiles.

Down Time

So, I've found myself a little down the last week or so.  The Yervoy is making the journey very challenging.  I keep falling into the dark hole of wondering which way it is going - Good or Bad?  I've been on speed dial with God and I know that he's got this....if my damn human emotions would just leave me alone.

Funny I'm not afraid of the end, it will be a celebration, and IT WILL HAPPEN at some point, I'm 56 which leaves me what somewhere around the 1/2 way mark, with or without the Cancer,  LOL....

It is difficult to swallow that I am as sick as I am, crazy - I'm loaded with guilt over the things I tire way to fast to do, and others taking up the slack - I absolutely hate this part. I'm clawing my way out of any form of pity party....I've always avoided those type people, they only bring everyone down, so I'm NOT going there.

I have moved my thoughts way up the line and to bigger and greater things - when this coast to coast trip becomes a reality - when I complete it, I will be dedicating the balance of what I have left on this planet - to any and all groups that will allow me to support Cancer benefits, Pet rescue benefits, on the seat of a Trike, the front as long as I can, and the rear seat to the end. 

While I am tucking away the pennies, I could use your help, just a dollar, $5 if you possibly can, no amount is too small.....my first contributor made a $20 donation, if you can see your way to toss a little in the kitty....any surplus will go to the American Cancer Society, and to various Pet Rescues through any and all benefit rides!  These trikes cost upwards of $35k, the one pictured below is $20k.  I know this is a huge wish on my part....I've never been rich, always a payday to payday type person, with that extra $1 going to someone who needs it....and I intend to continue with that process, can't teach this old dog new tricks I guess...hahahaha.  Your contribution can be made anonymously or you can certainly put your name up there in BOLD print...know that either way, you will be making what seems like a daunting and impossible dream a REALITY. Here is the link:

http://www.gofundme.com/8hmfec         

Here is the Dream that WILL take me from East coast to the West coast....and fill my bucket list:

HUGGS & SMILES

Meet the Nelson's

Wow what a week last week was, a last minute invite from our good friend Denise gave me memory that will last throughout time.  Spent time with Annie and Amy, then got to spend some time with Willie.  I met Bobbie, what an incredible lady she is.  Willie he is one of a kind, what a gentle soul, with such a kind heart and loving energy.  I am so blessed to have had that opportunity, friends for life.

Saturday evening was spent with some Awesome ladies in Aiken who shared some incredible moments of "pee your pants" laughter, and some much needed education on the health concerns of "lemon" water served in your local restaurant (Thank you Nick).  Love ya both!

Those two events exhausted my body in such a good way, but still trying to get it together, didn't know I was so easily taken down these days, but wouldn't trade it for the world. 

Some great news, It's been two weeks since my Yervoy treatment, and the lump on the side of my neck is down from a golf ball size to a jelly bean size.....I'm so hopeful that this is moving me in the healthy direction.   The PET scan on Thursday last, will tell some of the story when I get the read from Dr. Shirai next Monday, Almost afraid to get to excited but know that God's blessings will continue in abundance and I WILL kick Cancer's BUTT!

Thanks to Jan, Denise, Annie, Amy, Willie, Nick, Stacy......you all have made such an incredible impact on my life this week....you are truly Angels from God.

Huggs & Smiles to all

Melanoma Monday

Today all were wearing Black in recognition of Melanoma.  This is a crazy crazy disease.  I still look back and wonder what the heck happened, like life changed overnight, and so it seems to be for many dealing with this disease.  I am so blessed to be functional and positive, God is good.

 

Today was a tough day, it's been one week since the first infusion of YERVOY, I woke up feeling like I'd been ran over by a Mac Truck, legs wobbly, just exhausted, spent the day on the sofa doing pretty much NOTHING.  This cannot continue, but I do have to rest and I will try to be aware of that.  On the GREAT side of this, the lump in my neck actually seems to be shrinking, GOD IS GOOD. My bestie is just amazing....just amazing....

 

A little disappointment came today, I received an email from both Harley Davidson and the makers of the CanAM Spyder - both turning down my request for support for a trike for my ride.  While this is very sad news, I know God's got this, if it is meant to be it will be. Just makes me more determined to get Ellen's attention or Queen Latifa's attention, I'm also going to start getting ribbons made and send out for a straight donation to : http://www.gofundme.com/8hmfec         

 

 

Many old peers, friends, relatives have reached out, and it has been nice to talk to each of them.  I'm pretty much a "personal" type person with little interested in gossip, or oversharing....and I tend to push people away and maintain my personal space. At the same time I think of each an everyone of you and send love and prayers daily.  Just an odd duck I guess....or a little defense mechanism, not sure which applies. 

 

Huggs and Smiles to all.

 

Fresh Air

It was so nice to get out yesterday, took a ride to Columbia - had an awesome day!!!  Today I'm beat, but it was so worth it.   Spending some time with the fur babies and going to start the production of the Ribbons today - can't wait.

So, I'm standing in the shower, and these silly thoughts come to mind, thought I would share it:

The Grass isn't always greener on the other side ....
          good excuse to not get up of your lazy butt and climb the fence.....think about it....what if it IS?
          (and why even give it a thought unless your grass is dying beneath your feet where you stand)

Then the Plan A & B theory.....I always preached that you should have a plan B.... then I realized         that if you need a Plan B....you never HAD a plan A.....


With all the excitement of each and every day.....good or bad, it reminds me that I'm still alive, and able to continue to smile...and most of all try to have a positive impact on each and every soul I come in contact with, this, I believe, is my God given task while living this existence we call life....and I love every single minute!

Huggs and Smiles to all.

Another uneventful day!

Uneventful days are a blessing lately.  No reaction to the Yervoy YIPPY! Still feeling strong and moving forward.  Still in search of a sponsor for my Cross Country Trike trip which will be about 12 weeks away!

Working on the Huggs and Smiles ribbons tonight, looking forward to that.  It's been a GREAT life and only gets better.....Cancer will NOT steal my joy!

Thank you all for your support and strength...couldn't do this without you.


Huggs and Smiles!

Yervoy Treatment #1

Up and rolling early, have a 2.5hr drive to Charleston and my appointment is at 8:30.  Thank you to my girl for being right here with me through this all. I think I'm still in denial - today is the "reality" day.  God is good and prayerfully this will be an uneventful treatment as far as the side effects go, and will be the first step to kicking Cancers BUTT.....


Huggs & Smiles to all.....

Yervoy AHOYYYY

Monday 4/28 will begin the Yervoy treatments.  I am anxious to get this going and to see some positive results.  Every day is a blessing and I'm ready for blessings in abundance. 

BRING IT ON

Huggs & Smiles to all

Eye Opener

In the midst of trying to get the Hugs and Smiles campaign rolling, I found out the most interesting thing, The color of the Melanoma Ribbon is Black....BLACK....what in the world....."the ribbon that says GIVE IT UP, YOU'RE DOOMED" kinda black.....really...wow. We will be adjusting that a little to add some amazing blue to it and make it a little more palletable.


HUGGS and SMILES to all.....

Bristol Myers

I received the call from Bristol Myers today, looks like they are going to approve the funding for the treatments!  I am so excited....I will have a definite in the next day or so when I here it from the Dr.

God is good and continues to show up and show out!!!!!



Hugs and SMILES......

Keep on Keepn on!

It's been a few days since I posted so time to catch some of you up.

The testing to see if I had the "mutation gene" for the first possible treatment was returned negative.  So that was a no go.  The Dr. then shifted gears to an immunotherapy drug called YERVOY, with no insurance, we are waiting on Bristal Meyers to approve the treatment and provide the drug, that request has been submitted on an emergency need.  Wow you don't realize how bad this disease really is until you notice that everything has "emergency" or "priority" or "expedite" attached to it. I've spoken to SSDI 3 times now by phone, no biggie right? until I tell you that THEY called me each time advising that this has been moved to the urgent review pile...again, reality hits. So back to the treatment, it's got a long list of side effects but I'll be monitored closely and none of it is worse that the side effects of not doing it.  So the treatments will be 4 infusions (90 minutes) 3 weeks apart from each other.  If we get the approval this week I hope to begin treatments next week, we will see. The treatments will take place at MUSC, the Dr will see me before and after each, with blood work done prior to each treatment. 

I have relinquished all of my attachment to Janavi Consulting, LLC, but will offer any and all advise that I can to my partner Jan...who is doing an amazing job of moving things forward, which has to be so difficult in these circumstances....please send prayers her way, she is a strong person, but even the strongest can have doubts, worries, fears....even in the presence of God.

I'm moving forward with trying to get a sponsor for the Can Am to make my trip across the US, but that's all in the previous blog.  If you find it in your heart to assist with that process, any and all emails that you can send to anyone that you think may be able to help would be MOST APPRECIATED.  Queen Latifah is in my opinion one of the most attractive people in the celebrity industry, just her projected inner sunshine, her smile, I don't know why but I've always thought her to be absolutely gorgeous, whoa ... don't take that tooo far, lol.  Anyway, I wanted to reach out to her organization and see if they had any type of programs, but I didn't think they did that type thing, well I was wrong, just saw this morning  that they do!!!!!  So if anyone is so inclined to submit my name and request, it's so awkward to send in something saying "hey I'm a great person, would you sponsor a trip for me", lol, I frankly don't know how the heck to even attempt that!  So here is her website with several options, including a recorded request:  http://www.queenlatifah.com/giveaways/

I have begun to send requests to all Can am dealers hoping someone will see the sincerity in my request and sponsor a used or repo Can Am for the trip....we will see.

Thank you Lisa for the drawings for the Hugs and Smiles logo, looking forward to the next one and making a definite decision.  I am reaching out today to get the sponsors for the T shirts and Hats, and getting the journey mapped out....even if it means I have to walk it.....well maybe....but I am moving forward time is precious, if God sees this to be then it will.

An extra prayer or two to the family that supports me, to my friends who have taken this harder than I have....I have had a wonderful last two years, I couldn't have imagined it any better that it has been, and I still see a future of love and laughs, I HAVE NOT THROWN IN THE TOWEL, and anyone thinking that I have only tells me that you don't know me very well.  The last week has been very draining and God and I have spent many hours in conversation, but as Joyce tells the story "GET UP" I'm up and stronger than ever!

Love and Light to all who struggle everyday with harder things than I am faced with, I remind you of God's love - always.

Huggs and SMILES.....

HUG AND A SMILE

Hi everyone thanks for taking time out of your day to check in on me.

This weekend was filled with laughter, tears, and a big shot of reality.  I was sitting with Jan and the pups, and realized.....DAMN, I want to hug my Brothers just one more time....thank those that influenced my life, and I want to put a smile on as many faces as I possibly can! The last 2 years of my life have been so stress free, so full of love, just so perfect. The last thing I want is to spend any time worried, upset, depressed.  I want to laugh, I want to act like a kid, I want to do silly things without worrying about how to pay this or how to pay that....

I was asked recently, so "what's on your bucket list". I could tell it was a little awkward but it was a heart filled question, thank you for asking.  The weird thing is the first thought is why, so many others are more deserving of having a wish fulfilled than I, seriously, if you know me, you know how much I mean that. Help my great granddaughter live a happy life, provide financing for those much younger than I who are fighting this battle, or anyone with health battles.  There is nothing worse than trying to fight something inside you - to battle for your life and worry constantly about how to pay. 

So, the bucket list - I want to hug each of my brothers, my grand kids, put flowers on my Grandparents graves, I want to make a trip across the US on a can am spider to do it....to make a stop at the grand canyon, see Mt. Rushmore, Hey maybe meet Ellen, lol, that would be a hoot.   Bottom line, I don't want to worry about finances any more, I'm well schooled in that area, I want to be able to laugh and enjoy every minute, I want to spend it with the person who has brought me so much happiness, I just want to bring smiles across the miles, maybe route it so that I could stop at all the cancer centers across the states as well as the Bariatric groups and just give someone a hug and a smile.  As I type this God has put it on my heart to design a "hug and a smile" to distribute on my trip. PEOPLE NEED TO KNOW THAT THEY MATTER.

Ok, it's a done deal, I need some help - who's up for it?

How do I find and convince a sponsor for the following?

CAN AM Spider with HUG AND A SMILE logos
Fuel funding
Lodging across the trip as needed
Pins, teddy bears, T-shirts, Hats, blankets - for the HUG AND A SMILE distribution.
Cancer center clearances to visit
Lists of Bariatric centers
Contributions to maintain finances at home.


OK THIS IS MY MISSION ! 

If science is correct, time is short....if the Dr. is correct I can touch so many lives with a hug and a smile, and GOD says I have time to touch everyone who needs me with a HUG AND A SMILE.

..and so it shall be.

Results - Negative

While this sounds like an awesome result......it definitely is not what we had hoped for. The AIM site which gives loads of good information on Metastatic Melanoma (good bathroom reading for most) says: "All Stage IV patients should be tested for the BRAF, NRAS, and C-KIT mutations, in order to find out if they are eligible for targeted therapy or a clinical trial using targeted therapy - See more at: http://www.aimatmelanoma.org/en/aim-for-answers/treatment-of-melanoma/treatment-by-stage.html#stage4", guess I failed the Mutation test......


Dr. called today to give me the news, and asked that I come in tomorrow early so we can discuss the possible immunotherapies that are available. No one said this would be an easy journey I know I CAN'T do it alone, God has got this!  It's in these times when those around you who are so supportive and remind you of your inner strength, that I reach out to God to give THEM the strength to make this journey with me.

Love and Light to all.....

Afternoon answers....NOT

It was a very long day yesterday, spent it at MUSC. There were several appointments set, but only two happened. Gave my obligatory tube of blood...lol, then moved on to Dr. Sharai's office.  What an incredible man, very compassionate, thorough, and seems to know his stuff.  In the process of exchanging what's and when's he became very concerned as to how far the cancer has traveled.  Yep, its official I have Metastatic (in multiple locations) Melanoma.  Anyway, at that point in the discussion he sent me to the ER next door for an MRI of my brain.  Bottom line, no masses or concerns there.....whew....what a relief. Now let's move on.


Seems that there are 2 treatment options, I need to get on line today and start some research, now that it's "named".  I stayed in denial through most of this, have had some breakdowns, but just now actually realizing what is going on.  No doubt, God has got this, but I need to be sure to do my part. 


Love and Light

Being Aware

I've finally come to my senses, well sort of....that moment when you realize, damn.....this body's gonna give me some shit, BRING IT ON. 

I went to give my Bestie a THUMBS UP today, and the wrong finger flew straight up....wtf.....and I had an issue reasoning which finger I was trying to get saluting....that was a "crap" moment.  She is everything to me, and has been my rock.....wow....the Devil WILL stoop pretty damn low.

So I spent some time just going through the events of the last couple of months, well the last couple of weeks really.   Wednesday was one damn close call....but I'm still here, and I'm so greatfull.  I guess I had lost about 2 pints of blood and they replaced one pint, so my body is working a little overtime to replace the other pint....hoping I've accomplished that this weekend.  Also gave some thought to the information I got on the 2nd mass in my chest.  That mass, from what the Dr. said is dangerously close to my Aorta and also calcified....they have no intention of doing anything with that one.  Wednesdays visit may give me some more answers as to what happens to the mass in my neck, the mass that they biopsied, and what the risks are of the other one staying put.....so, I'm a little anxious about the whole process and had a minor melt down.

Thank you to my support, my family that sat and held me while I fell apart, the love is incredible in this house.  God continues to bless me with so many friends out there that I have never even met, so much support,  A True testimony in the making.


LOVE YOU ALL


Love & Light to each of you.

Well that was CLOSE

I had an extended stay at MUSC.  The plan was to do a biopsy on a mass in my chest, which was the reason for the visit. Saw the GREAT medical staff on Tuesday and we decided to do the biopsy right away, so it was scheduled for noon......they got the biopsy, and I was resting peacefully though very medicated, lol for the rest of the afternoon.  late that night my world was turned upside down, my BP plummeted to 72/46.  The medical staff was rushed back in, and off to the operating room once again. 

I am here to tell you....BUT FOR THE GRACE OF GOD, I am still here today. They were expecting to find a bleeder, but there was nothing, just pooling blood and clotting, which in the Dr.'s words "had to come from somewhere, but they couldn't find the source".  Ask me, GOD. 

Thank you to my wonderful support system, Jan.....you are amazing thank you for being in my life, Patty - your friendship is unbelievable, and Denise.....well nuff said there, love ya girl....


Home and upright, LIFE IS GOOD, GOD IS GOOD.

Headed back on Tuesday to get all the results and find out if I am compatible for some DNA treatments for this particular disease, what a ride, what a ride.

Fun Times

Another week has passed with no progress or maybe so, I do have an appointment on the 25th!  We will be going to Charleston to meet with the Oncology Dr. there.  Seems that the mass in my chest needs to be examined prior to any other action..From what I am understanding, the stage and actual diagnosis is still in question.  They know it's Cancer, it is characteristic of Melanoma and they are comfortable with that, but still concerned that the mass in my chest is fairly large, if I remember they measured it at 11cm, the one on my neck at 8cm and it looks like a second head, lol....so wow. 

So they will be running a tube with a camera down my throat into the chest and lungs - from what I'm reading...and then will remove some tissue for pathology. 

Life is so good, I have a wonderful partner that is handling all of the business right now, I've been feeling exhausted and a little overwhelmed....but staying very positive, I love life and all it has to offer, I know I have many things to do before this journey is complete and neither depression nor pity party are on this girls to do list.  I am spending some time with my Raven....and the rest of the girls, which is just awesome love my pups.



Love and Light to all

The RED TAPE Adventure begins

Yesterday I received a call from the Dr's office. Seems that my case has been received in Charleston and reviewed by the Director of Oncology who in turn referred my case to another Oncologist who specializes in "my" type of Cancer. So the new Oncologist is making a determination as to the next step being a consultation only, or just go ahead and schedule to consult and Biopsy the mass in my chest in the same visit, oh wow.

The hardest part of this whole adventure is the unknown. Those who know me recognize that I am the "planner" type, I want to know what's happening and be in control of that "happening" at all times.  "Well not this time sister", or so that's what I'm imaging God is saying.  On top of that, each and every time I have to say the C word, it makes it more and more real.  Somehow I keep thinking that someone just "made a mistake" and this isn't really happening, hmmmmmm I think that's spelled "DENIAL". 

Anyway, along with all this, another miracle has happened....wait for it.....


I called Medicaid to confirm that they received the documents that they requested.  I was told that they had not - DAMN that was sent 2 weeks ago.  So next step is to get the tracking number and get on the USPS site to find out when it was delivered.  What the HECK.....it showed that the package went out for delivery in West Columbia, but nothing more - no notes to say it was delivered.  Now the call to the USPS.  So, yes the package of all my worldly documents IS LOST.  Keep in mind this had a copy of my birth certificate, my social security number (in about 15 places), my work history, address, phone.....merry Christmas Identity theif!    Ahhhh, won't he/she get a shock when they find out that they have $20 in the bank.....AND CANCER......go for it!  USPS promised a return call in 24-48 hours and opened a claim on the package.  It's 24 hours and nothing from them yet.

Now the Miracle - When I talked to the folks at Medicaid, they told me that nothing was in the system at all beyond their request for the "missing" documents, oh and that I was a MALE.....really come on.....Once I confirmed that I do have Breasts and a vagina, they suggested that I talk with the local office "someone may have my package sitting on their desk".....ain't this FUN.   I make the obligatory call to the local office only to get an answering machine - which asks for my name and phone number, nothing more, so much for that.  Now time to grumble about having to re-do all that paperwork just to save time, when I get this thought.....LET GO AND LET GOD, HE'S GOT THIS. 

This morning I'm sitting at the Joyce Meyer convention it's 9:00am ... she doesn't begin teaching until 10:00....and my phone rings.  When I answer it is the local Medicaid office....all of my documents have been scanned into their system and being processed?????????????? How the heck did it go from being lost at 4pm the day before and uploaded at 9:00am - GOD IS GOOD.  

I am so blessed to have the opportunity to take this journey, the outcome will be good, no GREAT whatever it may be.  

God still has a universe full of Miracles!


Love and Light to all

Bucket List

I spent some time on FB tonight and saw a post that truly touched my heart in many ways.  How do we worship a GREAT God and then voice defeat and the I Give UP speech.  Why would you declare defeat when God can first of all heal all, and second of all - if he does not heal, is it not a blessing to be tested?  See the way I see it, we have to keep smiling and seeing the beauty and claim the power and strength of the God we serve.  I have been blessed with this cancer for a reason, should I not embrace the fact that I can learn from this experience without giving in to the cancer itself?  Why would I declare it as the Devils victory by stating the negative? I would much rather stand up and welcome the challenge and leave it in Gods hands to open doors that will allow the healing.

Yes, I have a bucket list.....don't we all?  Things we would like to do, like to have, like to experience? But do we need to present these things in a " poor me I wish I could, wish I would...."  type declaration? Or do we stand in the grace and glory of God and proclaim " I WILL".  That being said..

I WILL RIDE A HARLY TRIKE THROUGH THE MOUNTAINS ON A WARM SUMMER DAY!

Love and Light to all.....

Bye Bye Duke...

I received notice that Duke is out, I can get a consultation from there, but no further care is available since I'm considered self pay - and they told me that Medicaid in South Carolina typically won't pay out of state claims, so move on....God has got this for sure.  The options have moved to Charleston SC and records are being sent so hoping I will have an appointment soon.

Woke up this morning feeling anxious, and have been just "off" all day long, tonight I am blessed with pressure at the base of my skull and up the sides of my head with an increase in ear aches both sides, so I'm definitely a little grumpy and out of sorts tonight.

My God is an awesome God and will move me through this and the Devil will NOT be participating in this....IT IS WRITTEN.

LOVE AND LIGHT

Let it RAIN

What a great day it has been, God has been cleansing the South Carolina area with fresh crisp clear RAIN....too cool.  Took a ride with Jan and the pups this morning and just love every single day that I am here!

Received the documents from the Dr. for SSDI, so hoping that can continue to move forward - Medicaid paperwork went yesterday and last but not least, the release requested from Duke reached its destination - God's got this!!!!

Many people have offered experiences that they have had with this type Cancer, all are very encouraging and uplifting - THANK YOU All!  I'm looking forward to a HUGE dose of UPLIFT next Thursday, we will be going to see Joyce Meyers and I can't wait - what an inspirational Lady!

Love and Light

Off N Runn'n

It was a wonderful weekend, rested, got 4 puppies to their safe haven, spent some time with some GREAT friends in Coward SC.  So Blessed, So Very Blessed.    Fell in love with the little chocolate baby, and so happy she's got a great life ahead.  Then, damn it, fell head over heals for a 60 pound 9 year old Bulldog named Bruiser, what can I say.....

Spending some time with Joyce this morning then getting it moving.  This is going to be a day of ensuring all paperwork is complete and in the mail, which, if you have ever experienced the process, I may need more than just today...LOL. 

Well it's juice time, love that Bullet....


Love and Light to all.

Welcome MARCH!

Rolling on into March, wondering what amazing events this month brings?  Watched Dr. Jen Arnold on Dr. Oz last night, what an amazing lady....she really GETS it, I would love to shake her hand! She will be a constant reminder as I go into this chapter of my life, just how far faith, family and a smile can carry you!

Received my paperwork for insurance, need to complete that today and get it on its way.  I should receive my packet from Duke and  continue to follow up and be sure that is moving in the right direction. 

It is with GREAT pride, and some sadness that I have turned over Janavi Consulting, LLC completely to my Partner.  Jan has been on board since the beginning and will continue to carry on the business.  I won't be disappearing, just preparing for the probability of limited ability to run as hard as I have.  I will be just fine in an advisory and support capacity, you know one of those " boy that sounds important, but doesn't pay a penny" kind of positions.  I figure I'll go along and "supervise" every now and then, but no climbing roofs, sliding down embankments, crawling through snake infested brush, and oh yeah the ticks - no more ticks, did I say some "sadness" hmmmm.


Love and Light to all

Juice Time

It's a wonderful day. God has blessed us beyond our wildest dreams with so many more blessings ahead!  I'm up and about ready to tackle what comes my way.  Will talk to Duke today and try to get some additional information.

It's full steam ahead Folks....

Love and Light to all!

Gosh I Feel Great!

It's an awesome day. Got a lot of feelings out in the open, came out on Face Book - LOL, and I'm ready to tackle the world.   Whatever may be going on in your life, remember we all have stuff some of that stuff seems heavier than other stuff, nothing is insignificant, find it in your heart to remain compassionate, caring, and share a smile - it WILL change a life.

Love to all

On a Mission

Spent today looking for financial answers so that treatment can begin.  I received the call that the "Provider" at Duke will have to approve my 'no insurance status', nope that won't fly with me.  So, applied online for Medicaid, and met with the Investigator for the Attorney that will be handling the SSDI claim. I am prepared for the battle to begin, both with the finances and with the Dr's but number one is getting the source of the demon in my body identified and get a plan in place to move into health again.....

There was a momentary pause as I read the "fast track" list for SSDI and yep, I'm now on that list....dang.

God is keeping me in check, smiling all the way through this thing.....with my biggest concern is what the people around me are going through trying to process this, I know that they are moving through so many emotions...They are the most awesome people that God could have put in my life.

God Blessed the broken road that lead me straight to you........

Confirmed Diagnosis

 Metastatic Melanoma is the final answer. So, where am I headed from here? North Carolina to Duke for additional testing.  The source of the cancer needs to be found before treatments of any kind can be discussed, so I'm on the hurry up and wait list for an appointment at Duke, LOL, no I should have an appointment pretty quickly.  Meanwhile, SSDI meeting tomorrow and on the search for financial assistance to cover the bills that are already beginning to pile up. 
Hey, life always has challenges...ALWAYS, so this is just another adventure another test to add to some pretty awesome testimonials that I already have banked in my short 56 years. 

LIFE IS GOOD.

Next Chapter

Well seems like its time….time to share some news that is a little alarming.  Recently I woke up with a walnut sized lump on the side of my neck. I have a history of having sebaceous cysts so this wasn’t really a big concern.  My Dr. scheduled an appointment with an ENT and the whole world is now turned upside down and a little inside out…..if it were not for my faith in God, I don’t know how I would be handling this.  After 2 CAT scans and a biopsy, I have been diagnosed with metastatic melanoma, let the games begin.  I’m keeping my sense of humor, and frankly neck deep in denial as I put one foot in front of the other. My Dr. has his sights set on sending me to Duke if at all possible.  There are more tests to be done to locate the origin which seems possible to be in a large mass in my chest…..wow, where the hell did this come from? 

The Dr. has advised that I apply for SSDI immediately, and I’ve got to figure out how, with NO health insurance, I’m going to manage to financially get through the necessary regiment to extend my life expectancy, but then again, it’s in God’s hands and I am at peace with that, make no mistake I have no intention of “giving up”, and against all odds I expect to be around to celebrate an 80^th birthday while gearing up for the 90^th one. 

Life is good, and most of us don’t have the opportunity to know when the last chapter of our lives is being written, and frankly I’m not sure this is MY last chapter, but I do know I have some heavy duty conversations to have with God and I will be leaning on him more than ever in my life.

Life is good, LOVE every moment you have.  Don’t waste it on hate and anger, take time to laugh, to share a loving and caring moment with a stranger – a simple smile can change the world even if it’s just changes for one person…

Yesterday was a good day, found out that the mamogram was good....today, not such a great day...

It's time

I should have started this Blog more than 2 years ago, but I always sleep on the big decisions at least overnight....so I stretched it a few more nights, what can I say.