Being Aware

I've finally come to my senses, well sort of....that moment when you realize, damn.....this body's gonna give me some shit, BRING IT ON. 

I went to give my Bestie a THUMBS UP today, and the wrong finger flew straight up....wtf.....and I had an issue reasoning which finger I was trying to get saluting....that was a "crap" moment.  She is everything to me, and has been my rock.....wow....the Devil WILL stoop pretty damn low.

So I spent some time just going through the events of the last couple of months, well the last couple of weeks really.   Wednesday was one damn close call....but I'm still here, and I'm so greatfull.  I guess I had lost about 2 pints of blood and they replaced one pint, so my body is working a little overtime to replace the other pint....hoping I've accomplished that this weekend.  Also gave some thought to the information I got on the 2nd mass in my chest.  That mass, from what the Dr. said is dangerously close to my Aorta and also calcified....they have no intention of doing anything with that one.  Wednesdays visit may give me some more answers as to what happens to the mass in my neck, the mass that they biopsied, and what the risks are of the other one staying put.....so, I'm a little anxious about the whole process and had a minor melt down.

Thank you to my support, my family that sat and held me while I fell apart, the love is incredible in this house.  God continues to bless me with so many friends out there that I have never even met, so much support,  A True testimony in the making.


LOVE YOU ALL


Love & Light to each of you.

Well that was CLOSE

I had an extended stay at MUSC.  The plan was to do a biopsy on a mass in my chest, which was the reason for the visit. Saw the GREAT medical staff on Tuesday and we decided to do the biopsy right away, so it was scheduled for noon......they got the biopsy, and I was resting peacefully though very medicated, lol for the rest of the afternoon.  late that night my world was turned upside down, my BP plummeted to 72/46.  The medical staff was rushed back in, and off to the operating room once again. 

I am here to tell you....BUT FOR THE GRACE OF GOD, I am still here today. They were expecting to find a bleeder, but there was nothing, just pooling blood and clotting, which in the Dr.'s words "had to come from somewhere, but they couldn't find the source".  Ask me, GOD. 

Thank you to my wonderful support system, Jan.....you are amazing thank you for being in my life, Patty - your friendship is unbelievable, and Denise.....well nuff said there, love ya girl....


Home and upright, LIFE IS GOOD, GOD IS GOOD.

Headed back on Tuesday to get all the results and find out if I am compatible for some DNA treatments for this particular disease, what a ride, what a ride.

Fun Times

Another week has passed with no progress or maybe so, I do have an appointment on the 25th!  We will be going to Charleston to meet with the Oncology Dr. there.  Seems that the mass in my chest needs to be examined prior to any other action..From what I am understanding, the stage and actual diagnosis is still in question.  They know it's Cancer, it is characteristic of Melanoma and they are comfortable with that, but still concerned that the mass in my chest is fairly large, if I remember they measured it at 11cm, the one on my neck at 8cm and it looks like a second head, lol....so wow. 

So they will be running a tube with a camera down my throat into the chest and lungs - from what I'm reading...and then will remove some tissue for pathology. 

Life is so good, I have a wonderful partner that is handling all of the business right now, I've been feeling exhausted and a little overwhelmed....but staying very positive, I love life and all it has to offer, I know I have many things to do before this journey is complete and neither depression nor pity party are on this girls to do list.  I am spending some time with my Raven....and the rest of the girls, which is just awesome love my pups.



Love and Light to all

The RED TAPE Adventure begins

Yesterday I received a call from the Dr's office. Seems that my case has been received in Charleston and reviewed by the Director of Oncology who in turn referred my case to another Oncologist who specializes in "my" type of Cancer. So the new Oncologist is making a determination as to the next step being a consultation only, or just go ahead and schedule to consult and Biopsy the mass in my chest in the same visit, oh wow.

The hardest part of this whole adventure is the unknown. Those who know me recognize that I am the "planner" type, I want to know what's happening and be in control of that "happening" at all times.  "Well not this time sister", or so that's what I'm imaging God is saying.  On top of that, each and every time I have to say the C word, it makes it more and more real.  Somehow I keep thinking that someone just "made a mistake" and this isn't really happening, hmmmmmm I think that's spelled "DENIAL". 

Anyway, along with all this, another miracle has happened....wait for it.....


I called Medicaid to confirm that they received the documents that they requested.  I was told that they had not - DAMN that was sent 2 weeks ago.  So next step is to get the tracking number and get on the USPS site to find out when it was delivered.  What the HECK.....it showed that the package went out for delivery in West Columbia, but nothing more - no notes to say it was delivered.  Now the call to the USPS.  So, yes the package of all my worldly documents IS LOST.  Keep in mind this had a copy of my birth certificate, my social security number (in about 15 places), my work history, address, phone.....merry Christmas Identity theif!    Ahhhh, won't he/she get a shock when they find out that they have $20 in the bank.....AND CANCER......go for it!  USPS promised a return call in 24-48 hours and opened a claim on the package.  It's 24 hours and nothing from them yet.

Now the Miracle - When I talked to the folks at Medicaid, they told me that nothing was in the system at all beyond their request for the "missing" documents, oh and that I was a MALE.....really come on.....Once I confirmed that I do have Breasts and a vagina, they suggested that I talk with the local office "someone may have my package sitting on their desk".....ain't this FUN.   I make the obligatory call to the local office only to get an answering machine - which asks for my name and phone number, nothing more, so much for that.  Now time to grumble about having to re-do all that paperwork just to save time, when I get this thought.....LET GO AND LET GOD, HE'S GOT THIS. 

This morning I'm sitting at the Joyce Meyer convention it's 9:00am ... she doesn't begin teaching until 10:00....and my phone rings.  When I answer it is the local Medicaid office....all of my documents have been scanned into their system and being processed?????????????? How the heck did it go from being lost at 4pm the day before and uploaded at 9:00am - GOD IS GOOD.  

I am so blessed to have the opportunity to take this journey, the outcome will be good, no GREAT whatever it may be.  

God still has a universe full of Miracles!


Love and Light to all

Bucket List

I spent some time on FB tonight and saw a post that truly touched my heart in many ways.  How do we worship a GREAT God and then voice defeat and the I Give UP speech.  Why would you declare defeat when God can first of all heal all, and second of all - if he does not heal, is it not a blessing to be tested?  See the way I see it, we have to keep smiling and seeing the beauty and claim the power and strength of the God we serve.  I have been blessed with this cancer for a reason, should I not embrace the fact that I can learn from this experience without giving in to the cancer itself?  Why would I declare it as the Devils victory by stating the negative? I would much rather stand up and welcome the challenge and leave it in Gods hands to open doors that will allow the healing.

Yes, I have a bucket list.....don't we all?  Things we would like to do, like to have, like to experience? But do we need to present these things in a " poor me I wish I could, wish I would...."  type declaration? Or do we stand in the grace and glory of God and proclaim " I WILL".  That being said..

I WILL RIDE A HARLY TRIKE THROUGH THE MOUNTAINS ON A WARM SUMMER DAY!

Love and Light to all.....

Bye Bye Duke...

I received notice that Duke is out, I can get a consultation from there, but no further care is available since I'm considered self pay - and they told me that Medicaid in South Carolina typically won't pay out of state claims, so move on....God has got this for sure.  The options have moved to Charleston SC and records are being sent so hoping I will have an appointment soon.

Woke up this morning feeling anxious, and have been just "off" all day long, tonight I am blessed with pressure at the base of my skull and up the sides of my head with an increase in ear aches both sides, so I'm definitely a little grumpy and out of sorts tonight.

My God is an awesome God and will move me through this and the Devil will NOT be participating in this....IT IS WRITTEN.

LOVE AND LIGHT

Let it RAIN

What a great day it has been, God has been cleansing the South Carolina area with fresh crisp clear RAIN....too cool.  Took a ride with Jan and the pups this morning and just love every single day that I am here!

Received the documents from the Dr. for SSDI, so hoping that can continue to move forward - Medicaid paperwork went yesterday and last but not least, the release requested from Duke reached its destination - God's got this!!!!

Many people have offered experiences that they have had with this type Cancer, all are very encouraging and uplifting - THANK YOU All!  I'm looking forward to a HUGE dose of UPLIFT next Thursday, we will be going to see Joyce Meyers and I can't wait - what an inspirational Lady!

Love and Light

Off N Runn'n

It was a wonderful weekend, rested, got 4 puppies to their safe haven, spent some time with some GREAT friends in Coward SC.  So Blessed, So Very Blessed.    Fell in love with the little chocolate baby, and so happy she's got a great life ahead.  Then, damn it, fell head over heals for a 60 pound 9 year old Bulldog named Bruiser, what can I say.....

Spending some time with Joyce this morning then getting it moving.  This is going to be a day of ensuring all paperwork is complete and in the mail, which, if you have ever experienced the process, I may need more than just today...LOL. 

Well it's juice time, love that Bullet....


Love and Light to all.

Welcome MARCH!

Rolling on into March, wondering what amazing events this month brings?  Watched Dr. Jen Arnold on Dr. Oz last night, what an amazing lady....she really GETS it, I would love to shake her hand! She will be a constant reminder as I go into this chapter of my life, just how far faith, family and a smile can carry you!

Received my paperwork for insurance, need to complete that today and get it on its way.  I should receive my packet from Duke and  continue to follow up and be sure that is moving in the right direction. 

It is with GREAT pride, and some sadness that I have turned over Janavi Consulting, LLC completely to my Partner.  Jan has been on board since the beginning and will continue to carry on the business.  I won't be disappearing, just preparing for the probability of limited ability to run as hard as I have.  I will be just fine in an advisory and support capacity, you know one of those " boy that sounds important, but doesn't pay a penny" kind of positions.  I figure I'll go along and "supervise" every now and then, but no climbing roofs, sliding down embankments, crawling through snake infested brush, and oh yeah the ticks - no more ticks, did I say some "sadness" hmmmm.


Love and Light to all