Up the Steroids

April 28th first Yervoy treatment, now everything is on hold, 2 weeks of Steroids, and now they have doubled the Steroids to get this intestinal issue straightened around. Through each and every step, I've stayed positive, stayed strong, but right now in this very moment.....I just don't know what to think...80mg Steroids daily, unknown when / if the next dose of Yervoy, even though the lump on my neck is almost gone......it's working, DAMN, come on body cooperate.

Porcelain is NOT my friend

Five months into this FIVE months....since the first indication that this journey was ahead.

Now here I am watching positive results from the first Treatment of Yervoy, only to be held back from the next treatment because of intestinal issues, the Porcelain "god" is not my friend.  I'm pumping in the steroids, against my better judgment and accepting the fact that not taking them could result in a new issue, Colitis, oh hell no, not gonna happen.

All days Life is Good, but some I'm finding are more exhausting than others, things I was doing with little effort are leaving me flat out....went out yesterday for about 4 hours, didn't do much of anything and still came home and just flopped....thank you to my dearest Jan for being so tolerant, supporting, and loving...she is so strong and determined that we will beat this, where would I be without her. 

Trying to reach out to some Trike dealers, wish I knew how to hit the buzz words to get the support I so need to make the Huggs and Smiles trip, God knows best.  Thank you to all of you who have stepped up and made a contribution to this trip, with so much going on these days it would be so easy to turn a blind eye, instead you took the time, I am forever grateful.


Huggs & Smiles.

Down Time

So, I've found myself a little down the last week or so.  The Yervoy is making the journey very challenging.  I keep falling into the dark hole of wondering which way it is going - Good or Bad?  I've been on speed dial with God and I know that he's got this....if my damn human emotions would just leave me alone.

Funny I'm not afraid of the end, it will be a celebration, and IT WILL HAPPEN at some point, I'm 56 which leaves me what somewhere around the 1/2 way mark, with or without the Cancer,  LOL....

It is difficult to swallow that I am as sick as I am, crazy - I'm loaded with guilt over the things I tire way to fast to do, and others taking up the slack - I absolutely hate this part. I'm clawing my way out of any form of pity party....I've always avoided those type people, they only bring everyone down, so I'm NOT going there.

I have moved my thoughts way up the line and to bigger and greater things - when this coast to coast trip becomes a reality - when I complete it, I will be dedicating the balance of what I have left on this planet - to any and all groups that will allow me to support Cancer benefits, Pet rescue benefits, on the seat of a Trike, the front as long as I can, and the rear seat to the end. 

While I am tucking away the pennies, I could use your help, just a dollar, $5 if you possibly can, no amount is too small.....my first contributor made a $20 donation, if you can see your way to toss a little in the kitty....any surplus will go to the American Cancer Society, and to various Pet Rescues through any and all benefit rides!  These trikes cost upwards of $35k, the one pictured below is $20k.  I know this is a huge wish on my part....I've never been rich, always a payday to payday type person, with that extra $1 going to someone who needs it....and I intend to continue with that process, can't teach this old dog new tricks I guess...hahahaha.  Your contribution can be made anonymously or you can certainly put your name up there in BOLD print...know that either way, you will be making what seems like a daunting and impossible dream a REALITY. Here is the link:

http://www.gofundme.com/8hmfec         

Here is the Dream that WILL take me from East coast to the West coast....and fill my bucket list:

HUGGS & SMILES

Meet the Nelson's

Wow what a week last week was, a last minute invite from our good friend Denise gave me memory that will last throughout time.  Spent time with Annie and Amy, then got to spend some time with Willie.  I met Bobbie, what an incredible lady she is.  Willie he is one of a kind, what a gentle soul, with such a kind heart and loving energy.  I am so blessed to have had that opportunity, friends for life.

Saturday evening was spent with some Awesome ladies in Aiken who shared some incredible moments of "pee your pants" laughter, and some much needed education on the health concerns of "lemon" water served in your local restaurant (Thank you Nick).  Love ya both!

Those two events exhausted my body in such a good way, but still trying to get it together, didn't know I was so easily taken down these days, but wouldn't trade it for the world. 

Some great news, It's been two weeks since my Yervoy treatment, and the lump on the side of my neck is down from a golf ball size to a jelly bean size.....I'm so hopeful that this is moving me in the healthy direction.   The PET scan on Thursday last, will tell some of the story when I get the read from Dr. Shirai next Monday, Almost afraid to get to excited but know that God's blessings will continue in abundance and I WILL kick Cancer's BUTT!

Thanks to Jan, Denise, Annie, Amy, Willie, Nick, Stacy......you all have made such an incredible impact on my life this week....you are truly Angels from God.

Huggs & Smiles to all

Melanoma Monday

Today all were wearing Black in recognition of Melanoma.  This is a crazy crazy disease.  I still look back and wonder what the heck happened, like life changed overnight, and so it seems to be for many dealing with this disease.  I am so blessed to be functional and positive, God is good.

 

Today was a tough day, it's been one week since the first infusion of YERVOY, I woke up feeling like I'd been ran over by a Mac Truck, legs wobbly, just exhausted, spent the day on the sofa doing pretty much NOTHING.  This cannot continue, but I do have to rest and I will try to be aware of that.  On the GREAT side of this, the lump in my neck actually seems to be shrinking, GOD IS GOOD. My bestie is just amazing....just amazing....

 

A little disappointment came today, I received an email from both Harley Davidson and the makers of the CanAM Spyder - both turning down my request for support for a trike for my ride.  While this is very sad news, I know God's got this, if it is meant to be it will be. Just makes me more determined to get Ellen's attention or Queen Latifa's attention, I'm also going to start getting ribbons made and send out for a straight donation to : http://www.gofundme.com/8hmfec         

 

 

Many old peers, friends, relatives have reached out, and it has been nice to talk to each of them.  I'm pretty much a "personal" type person with little interested in gossip, or oversharing....and I tend to push people away and maintain my personal space. At the same time I think of each an everyone of you and send love and prayers daily.  Just an odd duck I guess....or a little defense mechanism, not sure which applies. 

 

Huggs and Smiles to all.

 

Fresh Air

It was so nice to get out yesterday, took a ride to Columbia - had an awesome day!!!  Today I'm beat, but it was so worth it.   Spending some time with the fur babies and going to start the production of the Ribbons today - can't wait.

So, I'm standing in the shower, and these silly thoughts come to mind, thought I would share it:

The Grass isn't always greener on the other side ....
          good excuse to not get up of your lazy butt and climb the fence.....think about it....what if it IS?
          (and why even give it a thought unless your grass is dying beneath your feet where you stand)

Then the Plan A & B theory.....I always preached that you should have a plan B.... then I realized         that if you need a Plan B....you never HAD a plan A.....


With all the excitement of each and every day.....good or bad, it reminds me that I'm still alive, and able to continue to smile...and most of all try to have a positive impact on each and every soul I come in contact with, this, I believe, is my God given task while living this existence we call life....and I love every single minute!

Huggs and Smiles to all.

Another uneventful day!

Uneventful days are a blessing lately.  No reaction to the Yervoy YIPPY! Still feeling strong and moving forward.  Still in search of a sponsor for my Cross Country Trike trip which will be about 12 weeks away!

Working on the Huggs and Smiles ribbons tonight, looking forward to that.  It's been a GREAT life and only gets better.....Cancer will NOT steal my joy!

Thank you all for your support and strength...couldn't do this without you.


Huggs and Smiles!