Happy 4th of July

Well here it is July 3rd.  There is a hurricane off the coast, the rain is coming down, and yep I'm still sitting in a hospital bed.  Oh did I mention that they didn't think I'd even still be above ground right now, see I told ya so!  I got YEARS to go....lots and lots of them.

Doesn't get any better than this does it.  Life is good!  NO really, Life is GOOD.

I have been avoiding any updates, seems that as always, haters will get there voice heard in one way or another, and they have.  Things like "put on your big girl panties and get over it" is just another affirmation that the decisions I have made in the last 3 years have been the RIGHT decisions. So THANK YOU, thank you to those who are angry that I walked away, thank you to the family that blames me for the actions of others. Thank you to the ones who felt I didn't do enough, didn't give enough. Thank you to the ones who I was able to give all I had to.  Not only family but many that I came in contact with in my day to day life, I truly thought my heart was in the right place, I truly thought I was doing right, I would give it ALL, I just didn't know I would run out of "it ALL".  Thank you to those haters who have enabled me to see clearly, THANK YOU.
I am not perfect, I have made mistakes, I could have done things different and some would say I damn sure should have.   At this point I can hear it, some are probably thinking....what the heck this is just a "death bed" sermon, nope ...this girl ain't going anywhere.  Just stating some facts, and apologizing to those who have been looking for updates because they do care.  So here is what's going on.

I've had two Yervoy treatments to date.  The first was pretty easy, some intestinal issues, but we were able to move on after an extended time frame to the second dose.  2nd dose not so good.  I immediately took on several side effects, and today I am 2 weeks out from that 2nd dose and in the hospital since Monday.  I'm on IV fluids, IV steroids, IV potassium, and the team of Oncologists and GI Dr's are working to try to pinpoint what is going on.  While they are confident it is the Yervoy, we still have to get the situation under control to avoid other issues.  My body has always been the type that if it is odd, off the wall, or just unbelievable, it will manage it. There is some definite concerns as to next steps, every decision can bring on a new risk, so nothing is moving very fast. My Dr is fantastic, he is actually out of the country now, but had met me here at ER on Monday before leaving and has been in constant touch since I've been here, you just don't find that much anymore.

Monday was a little frightening for us all, it's about a 3 hour drive from home to the hospital, I wasn't coherent for any of it. Yesterday I found time for a meltdown, thank you Jan for being here every single second of this whole ordeal....just crazy.  I'm feeling better today than I have all week, and really want to be home, but I don't think that is going to happen today, and I'm really worried that they are going to keep me all weekend since the holiday is tomorrow, putting it in Gods hands.

So, this turned out to be a bit of a rant, a bit of an apology to my dearest friends and family, and a very quick update.....thank you for caring.

HUGGS and SMILES to all